Erased

THERE IS A DRINK CALLED A TURTLE MOCHASIPPI. IT TAKES ME TO A HAPPY PLACE. IT IS A DRINK SOLD AT CC'S CONSISTING OF A CARAMEL/MOCHA COFFEE. (MOCHA=CHOCOLATE) WITH WHIPPED CREAM THAT HAS CHOCOLATE AND CARAMEL DRIPPED OVER THE TOP. I DONT HAVE THE SUGARS YET, BUT UNTIL I DO, EVERY TIME I GOTS 4 DOLLAS AND NEED A PICK-ME-UP, I INTEND TO PURCHASE ONE.

SOME WOULD SAY THAT I HAD A BEAUTIFUL SMILE. ONE SLIMEBALL RECENTLY ALERTED ME THAT IT IS, INDEED A WAY TO GET THINGS THAT I WANT. (ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BOOBS?) ANYWHOO. IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT GUYS LIKE BEAUTIFUL SMILES. SEEMS LIKE I WOULD HAVE AN AWESOME STARTING POINT.

MY SMILE IS USUALLY RIGHT WHERE IT BELONGS; ON MY FACE. HOWEVER, IT SEEMS AS THOUGH THE ONE THING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO OPEN THE FLOOD GATES SEEMS TO HAVE THE NEED TO BE REMOVED FROM MY PERSON. EVERY TIME I FIND A REASON TO KEEP ON SMILING, SOMEONE COMES RIGHT ALONG AND ERASES IT RIGHT AWAY FROM MY FACE.

WHY IS IT THAT I AM ALWAYS THE OBSERVER? ALL I WANTED WAS FOR SOMEONE, ANYONE, TO BE HERE FOR ME. EVERY WHERE I GO, I AM SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE THERE FOR EACH OTHER . I CANNOT EXCAPE IT. I CANNOT RUN TO WORK, BECAUSE THEY ARE THERE. I CANNOT LOCK MYSELF UP IN MY ROOM, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THEY ARE WAITING FOR ME OUTSIDE.

I AM SO TIRED OF THIS. I DECIDED TO KEEP ONE AS A FRIEND. HE PROVED TO ME THAT HE HAD A MEASURE OF CARE FOR ME. SO I DECIDED THAT I WOULD VALUE HIS ADVICE. HE PROBABLY KNOWS I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO LOVE HIM IF HE WOULD JUST LET ME. I THINK HIS CARE LEANS TOWARD LOVE ALSO. BUT EVERY TIME I HAVE TO DEPEND ON HIM, HE FALLS THROUGH. I KEEP THINKING THAT HE HAS LEARNED FROM HIS MISTAKES. HE PROFESSED HIS SINCEREST APOLOGIES FOR BEING A JERK. SO OF COURSE THE THOUGHT OF HIM ACCEPTING MY INVITATION, A CHANCE TO SHOW THAT HE KNOWS HE WAS WRONG AND NEEDS TO MAKE IT RIGHT WOULD DEFINITELY

MAKE

ME

SMILE.

BUT THEN AGAIN, HE IS HE. APPARENTLY, ALL HE'S ARE HIM. THEY ARE ERASERS, IGNORANTLY REMOVING THE SMILE FROM MY PERSON. RENDERING ME EMOTIONLESS. GIVING BOUNTIFUL JOY TO ME, AND REMOVING IT. LEAVING ME LOOKING LIKE THE FOOL THAT I FEEL LIKE.

I FEEL LIKE AN EMPTY JELLY JAR. IT IS AWESOME WHEN YOU BUY IT. MAKE ALL THE PB&J SANDWICHES THAT YOU WISH. RECYCLE IF YOU MUST. BUT EVERY USE FOR A JELLY JAR AFTER THE JELLY IS GONE LEAVES THE JAR VISUALLY INADEQUATE. THERE IS NO WAY TO FILL THE GAPING EMPTINESS THAT I HAVE. I WAS FULL OF JELLY. SOME WAS USED HERE, AND THERE. AT ONE TIME, I WAS FILLED WITH PRESERVES...BUT NOW I AM EMPTY. I HAVEN'T A LABEL. JUST WIDE MOUTHED JAR FULL OF NOTHING, HOLDING RANDOM ITEMS THAT CANT FILL ME LIKE THE JELLY USED TO.

THIS IS WHY MY SMILE HAS BEEN ERASED....